Accidentally Too Cancun

When the holiday started off with the plane touching down on the runway and people clapping I thought it a bad omen, I mean what sort of people was I going to be in Mexico with...? I'm glad we didn't see any shiny objects to gawk at on the ground as we were leaving.

1 point down on Smashton's travelling point system (rules vary at discretion/as this post progresses).

Next was customs which was a breeze cause I look like an innocent 15 year old girl travelling on her own.

1 point up.

Then I stood next to my mate for a good hour at the airport as apparently we both didn't recognize each other.

1 point up for looking so damn different (hopefully better not worse)
1 point down for being a twat

So on even legging in the points system I went to my hotel in a vastly overpriced cab and started chatting and catching up with the eldest Markwell child from my hometown, reminiscing of false womanizing and bending stories out of shape so that they were larger than life. The dry Markwell wit started to bring a smile to my face that would become a regular fixture in the three days to come. The terrible advice on women ensued also, Markwell little understanding that his moves were trash and that it is only his ridiculous jawline and handsome features that gain him credibility with la chicas.

At the hotel waiting was the youngest Elliot! After not catching up in 7 months the reunion was class!!! I was ecstatic to see her again as her positivity is as infectious as Lil Wayne and her smile as addictive as the TV Series New Girl. Already I was starting to feel my spirits lift from the mediocre level that a winter of deep snow and zero sunshine in Toronto had induced. We caught up as much as we could as my stay was only for 3 days and my flight in a few days time was looming as a stark reminder that we had to cram as much fun in to the short time as possible. The hotel was an incredible All Inclusive affair with beach access from the rear and a jaw dropping view at sunrise.

The staff were friendly, although not too appreciative of my broken Spanglish. My attempts to communicate were mainly just saying hi and ordering cocktails. I became fluent in bar Spanglish, although got called a little bitch/pussy regularly for wanting diet coke with my rum (so that no one rolled me over on the beach mistaking me for a white whale the next day).

The first night was when I started drinking.

A little advice if you are staying at the Occidental Tucancun. Don't get accidentally too Cancun.

Life blended in to a short day of catching up with old friends and making new ones, strengthening relationships and testing the newly forged bonds with typical Australian idiocy.

On the fourth day I woke up still in Mexico. Having last minute decided to miss my flight, I woke up with the first hangover of the trip on the morning after my transit home and instantly regretted my decision. There is always that one fool on vacation who re-books and stays longer
or gets too sunburnt
or drinks too much.

Turns out I did all three.

The regret didn't last long when I realized I got the opportunity to catch up with Master Markwell and Missy Elliot a bit more. Till then Markwell had been loved up with a chica who checked out the same day I (decided) to stay for longer.

Thankfully the next few days were a little bit more casual. A couple of Pina Coladas and some more sun made sure I was proper lobster but grinning from ear to ear with tingling endorphin's. After hatching a few more harebrained ideas with Missy Elliot and discussing our next catch up wherever, I was super thankful when it came time to catch the flight home.

Reeking of body odor from having only three changes of clothes on a trip where I stayed 6 days out of the 3 days I had booked, I tormented the passengers beside me on my return trip.

Arriving home feeling delicate and emotional, I was glad to be back in Toronto and even happier to shower and put on clean clothes after.

Toronto summer is peeking around the corner, with the snow showers occurring less frequently and rarely sticking to the ground. I am definitely looking forward to the sunshine after having a good hit of it in Mexico. Despite the trip having no culture other than drinking, I felt positive and happy once more, my old Australian/New Zealand/England/Toronto summer self.

Turns out I just needed a holiday.

Fact: Don't get accidentally too Cancun translates roughly in to English as Never go full retard.